Are you are automatically conditioned to suck in your stomach, tame your hair or only show the parts of yourself that others (whoever the heck they may be) that are flattering? If you answered yes, then maybe consider focusing on building your inner confidence and strength, because there is nothing more beautiful than a strong, confident woman! Inner confidence is not an automatic, it’s a process that takes mindful intention and attention. It’s a part of your brain, just like any muscle in your body, that you must exercise to develop and grow. This means creating a confidence building workout routine. So if you’re ready, try these steps:
Accentuate the positive. Like the song goes, “Accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative.” Practice keeping a positive outlook every day, which will reinforce your sense of personal power. This includes YOU. Practice telling yourself (positive affirmations) that you are kind, funny, smart, loving, and that your body is beautiful. Give yourself compliments, rather than criticisms. Positive outlooks lead to positive outcomes. Negative outlooks lead to negative outcomes. Likes attract—so stay in the positive lane.
Play to your strengths. Everyone including YOU are blessed with strengths—even if you don’t yet believe it. You just need to tap into them. Here’s how: First, in a quiet place make a list of your strengths. Then, focus on how to use them in your everyday life. Concentrating on your strengths is also exercising your super powers so they can be easily accessed at any time during the day.
Stop comparisons. Stop comparing yourself to others. Remember that there is only one, beautiful, wonderful, funny, kind and loving YOU. You are unique. Comparing yourself to other people, situations, possessions only leads to envy and jealousy. It also takes up space and time in your brain that could be positively spent making your dreams a reality. Like the saying by Martha Graham goes, “There is only one you. Live life fearlessly.”
Ignore the haters. When you are living life on your own terms, you’re going to have haters. Challenging life’s status quo oftentimes makes others feel uncomfortable. (That’s because they will see your strength, motivation, bravery and hard work as a direct judgment on the choice they are making to stay small, unhappy, or unhealthy.)
Vocal haters will speak up and question you. They may call you names, make a fuss about your personal choices or try to stick negative labels on you. Sneaky haters will try to sabotage your efforts, question your motivation, and smile to your face while whispering behind your back.
None of this “hate” is about you. It’s about how your choice to make deliberate positive decisions, to stretch, grow, succeed, and to own your inner AMAZING is making them feel about themselves. Haters are feeling threatened, scared, bewildered, or self-righteous. They’re lashing out trying to marginalize you in order to address the inconsistencies or lack in their own life. It’s NOT you. It’s THEM.
How to cope? Ignore the haters. Feel empathy, pity, and/or amusement. Just don’t let them get under your skin! It’s not your duty to please others; it’s your duty to honor yourself in whatever way feels authentic.
Be your authentic self. Staying true to your authentic self is the highest form of personal integrity and personal truth that requires you to take accountability for your actions and reactions. Standing up in your life to declare your intention to live fully, love hard, lead responsibly and honor your joy is declaring your intention to take responsibility for your choices. It may not always feel this way, but you always have choice.
Choices to wake up with a positive attitude. Choices about what you believe in and stand up for. Choices about how you treat others. Choices about how you honor your body with good nutrition and exercise. Choosing to speak your inner truth with kindness and calm will lead to self-respect and the respect of others—even the haters—even though they won’s admit it!
Ditch self-doubt or don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t be afraid to take a chance at life, because you’re afraid of failing or not succeeding. Failure, although oftentimes painful when it’s happening, is one of life’s most valuable a learning lessons. Hey, most of the world’s successful people have failed multiple times before they succeeded and won big. Learning how to face your fears and trust in your choices is not eliminating fear or risk. Rather, it’s about learning how to recognize, capitalize to your strengths and push yourself to grow to become the best you. That’s because what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. Failure is simply the starting point to a learning journey that will build wisdom, humor, balance, grace, and strength.
Developing that inner confidence muscle in your brain will help you dare to happily be your authentic self—in the gym AND life. The only person who can take away your inner strength and confidence is you. Fitness comes in all shapes, sizes and ages. Your body is beautiful and miraculous. Your body is beautiful and miraculous. Your body is beautiful and miraculous. Say it until you believe it. #GIRLSTRONG
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